McCormick & Schmick's - What the Hell Happened to You?

Holy Bad Dinner, Snackers; do I have a good one for you.

Just now getting the taste of plate rape out of my mouth as I struggle to digest the enormity of my Saturday night dining experience.

The last time I visited a McCormick & Schmick's was a few years back while in San Diego preparing for an appearance at the San Diego Comicon (don't ask).  As I recall, the wine was a'flowin, the fish were a'swimin, and it was overall a lovely and classy dinner that left me just buzzed enough to stomach the impending onslaught of geekery.

McCormick & Schmick's is an 80 restaurant, nationwide "chain", which has been around for quite a long time and had, I thought, a consistent reputation.  Accordingly, I thought nothing of trying out the Pasadena location this weekend after H got a last-minute hankering for Alaskan King Crab Legs and we were unable to get into the Arroyo Chop House, our go-to local destination for super tasty crustacean.

The wide-open availability on OpenTable at 8pm on Saturday night should have been my first clue; the empty dining room my second.  The restaurant had both the lighting and the empty room tone of a funeral home in foreclosure.  The restaurant has several dining rooms, and no kidding, we were one of two (2) tables that were actually occupied. (Our server later told us that the place was so "dead" because two large banquets consisting of local female choirs had just rolled through. . . er, um, ok. . . )

Soon after taking our pick of tables, we were promptly greeted by a very nice waitress, and as you know, nice goes a very long way with The Food Bitch.  But alas, about 30 seconds into the small talk part of the ordering process, we quickly realized that it was either her first night waiting tables (ever), or it was one of the finest displays of passive aggressive apathy I have ever seen in the food service industry.  I mean, at some point, a good server will realize that his/her patrons are having a horrible (or even slightly sub-par) meal/experience, and will bend over backwards to win you back.  No dice.  The farther we got into the forty-five total minutes we stayed to "enjoy" our meal, the worse things got and the more she seemed to flee from the table as quick as she came by.  But I digress. . . this really isn't meant to be a dish on the poor server who is essentially working in a corporate seafood nightmare.  

The menu had two (2) Reislings by the glass (my favorite).  One was a Chateau St. Michelle, which I've had before, and the other was a Saint M., which I had not.  I asked Sunny Server how the Saint M. compared.  She had no idea.  She made no initial effort to find out.  H asked about a Pinot Noir.  Again, she had no idea.  After realizing there were two  questions she couldn't answer (everyone has a limit), she practically dashed off to get a (Manager? Sommelier? Waiter with bartending experience?) to answer our questions.  While H ended up being happy with his recommendation, I found the "well balanced" Saint M. to taste more like a Chardonnay than a Reisling, and when Sunny Server asked me how I liked it a few minutes later, I honestly replied that it wasn't my favorite.  She said, "Oh, I'm sorry about that!", smiled, and walked away.  Now again, if I were a server, and someone said they didn't like a glass of wine, I would have immediately offered to replace it or take it off the bill.  Again, no dice.  So I drank it.  It wasn't awful, but it wasn't great either, and in conjunction with the rest of the meal, it was like salt in the wounds. . . which is ironic because our entrees were devoid of any salt whatsoever.  But I'll come back to that in a minute.

Still optimistic and somewhere in between all the dashing about by Sunny Server, H and I both performed a quick scan of the menu, which did not reveal the Alaskan King Crab Legs proudly touted on the menu hosted by OpenTable.com.  The problem was, I had just looked at that menu, and had largely based my decision to dine there that evening on its promise of crab legs.  When we asked Sunny Server why they were absent from the menu, she shrugged and said, "Oh yeah, we don't have those right now".  Crestfallen, I intimated that the crab legs were the whole reason we chose a reputable seafood restaurant such as McCormick & Schmick's.  She sorta shrugged and nervously laughed and it got awkward.  And then she walked away.

Ok. . . so I guess we're getting fish now.  Sorry, H.  :o(

Coast to Coast Tuna

We ordered something called the Coast to Coast Tuna for an appetizer, which consisted of four (4) sad little pieces of Ahi on one side of the plate, and about two tablespoons of some sort of "tuna salad" on the other end of the plate.  The tuna salad part was interesting in a folksy, old-fashioned way because it had capers and hard boiled eggs in it, but there was NOT enough tuna on the plate to justify the $14.95 price tag.  I also felt the two tuna components had nothing to do with each other taste-wise, and it left the meager portions feeling overall disjointed and disappointing.

Have Some Self Respect

I ordered a cup of Clam Chowder before my meal:  MISTAKE.  I'll only say this and let the picture do the rest of the talking - it tasted like it came out of a can in an inner-city high school cafeteria.  Inedible.





















For his entree, H had the salmon with a special black truffle sauce.  Not only did the sauce not taste anything like truffle, it had a distinct "Swanson's Chick Broth Reduction" flavor. . . and that was the only flavor in the whole dish.  The salmon was totally bland and had no seasoning whatsoever.  Fail.

See?  It Even Looks Like a Sad Fish

I ordered a Pistachio Crusted Tilapia, which again was desperately lacking in seasoning.  Both of us salted and re-salted our meals, which we never, ever do in restaurants.  The tilapia, although decently cooked had obviously been frozen, and was accompanied by the saddest-looking, circa 1978 corporate style, hospital-quality shoestring vegetables I have ever seen.  They were undercooked and absolutely soaked in oil.  Also, my entree was supposed to come with some sort of sweet potato couscous, which sounded so very appetizing.  Unfortunately, the couscous I did get was actually quinoa, and the only flavor I could taste was that of overwhelming, raw garlic, and again, it was cooked with way too much oil.  And no, there was no sweet potato anywhere on the plate.

Eat Your Veggies!

So there you have it.  Crappy appetizer, three glasses of mediocre wine (like I said, H liked his!), terrible soup, two very bland entrees, a lying menu, and well intentioned, but overall very bad service and all for the privilege of paying the full and most-reasonable (read: sarcasm) price of $114.46.

The check paying process was the last and final straw.  After dropping the bill, Sunny Server came back and tried to take it from us three (3) times before we were ready to give it up - all in the span of about as many minutes.  H was still finishing his wine, and I was still pondering the tip and how I ended up with quinoa.  We honestly felt like the restaurant itself was rushing us out of there because it just couldn't bear to disappoint us for any longer.  But it just felt wrong because we never uttered a single complaint about the food we received, nor were we anything but polite to the wait staff.  We know they work hard, and maybe the rogue sopranos really did just set them up for a rough night.  

I reached out to McCormick's via twitter the night of the incident, and they were kind enough to ask how they could "help".  Really the only way to undo this would be to completely refund me my hundred and fourteen hard-earned bucks and give me a re-do of my Saturday night with H.

As of now I can't imagine a reason I'd ever have to return to McCormick & Schmick's.  I can't say as I'd be in a rush to buy any of their stock on the NASDAQ any time soon either.   Corporate chains often get it right, but when they take a wrong turn, it takes a lot of work to recover their reputation.  And in this case, I'm left feeling like McCormick & Schmick's has turned into a total and complete corporate seafood disaster of Titanic proportions.

Happy Snacking,

The Food Bitch

New Orleans - If I Have to Hear How Good the Food is One More Time, I Might Actually Have to Just Go

Happy Spring, Snackers!

Spring is almost here, isn't it?  Sadly, that means Mardi Gras season is over.  It's too warm for Red Beans and Rice, King's Cakes can no longer be bought on a whim in duplicate from Porto's Bakery, and middle aged women all over the country are wondering what to do with 29 sets of plastic purple beads.

Now I'm from the South, and think I know a bit about Southern cooking, but from everything I've ever heard, New Orleans takes everything think you know about good food to a whole new level of internationally inspired yumminess.  And no, sadly, I've never actually been to NOLA, despite having been born right across the pond.

Coolio for me though, The Food Bitch actually received a totally unsolicited guest review from her good buddy and world traveler, BAC, who was cool enough to pen out his culinary experiences in Thailand for me a few months back.  He actually went during Mardi Gras, but I'm kind of a lazy a-hole sometimes and I've been sitting on this for a couple of weeks.

So my apologies for the delay, and without any further ado, I give you BAC's New Orleans:

Fried Soft-Shell Crab
Irene's Cuisine

Hey Food Bitch - Another guest review coming at ya.  I just got back from back from a 4-day food/booze fest in New Orleans.  Let me just start by saying this, New Orleans' reputation as a culinary haven is well-deserved, and not at all exaggerated.  The food was simply amazing.  French food....creole/cajun recipes....little sandwich spots....New Orleans had it all.  We didn't have even a single disappointing meal.  

Our first big meal was at Irene's Cuisine.  Out party of 14 took over one of the few small dining rooms at Irene's.  The service was friendly, including the pianist playing "rag-time" versions of some classic jams.  Standouts here included the meatballs, the oysters Irene, and the fried soft-shell crab.  

Oysters
La Petite Grocery

The next day, we were turned onto a local market called Verti Marte on the east side of the French Quarter. (In fact, all of these establishments were in the French Quarter.)  Verti Marte is nondescript from the outside.....just a door to a market.  In the back however, the deli-counter is where the magic happens.  They have a host of entrees, sandwiches, and sides on the menu.  Go for a sandwich....skip the smaller "roll" portion and step up to the big po' boy on a french roll.  The hands-down champion of the menu was the "All that Jazz."  Don't ask what's in it (we didn't).....just order it and welcome to flavor country.  Other standouts included the chicken-fried steak po' boy and the "Big Ernie."   

The next evening, we made an adventure across the parade routes on Canal Street, and headed to La Petite Grocery in the Uptown section of town.  (Our only culinary stop outside of the French Quarter).  This place is fancy.  So fancy, in fact, that when we thought we'd have to cancel our reservation due to parade road closures, they politely informed us that there would be a steep cancellation charge per person.  They told us not to worry about traffic, just take our time and they'd hold our table for us.  As it turned out, we were only about 20 minutes late for our reservation. 

Rabbit
La Petite Grocery

La Petite Grocery is the latest eatery led by Chef Justin Devillier, a Dana Point, CA native.  The food here was local, fresh, and fantastic.  We tried it all.....crab beignets, rootbeer glazed braised short rib, fried rabbit, oysters, and my favorite, the local shrimp and grits.  This place was rich....and not for the faint-stomached.  We closed this place down just before midnight.  They never rushed us, and even arranged taxis for our large party.  Like I said.....every meal we had was amazing. 

Shrimp and Grits
La Petite Grocery

But I saved the best for last.  There's a little divey hole-in-the-wall spot called Coop's Place.  No reservations....just a line forming out front.  We were a little hesitant given the line outside, but one of the locals in line told us that "whatever you've eaten so far in New Orleans.....this will be the best."  So with that ringing endorsement, we had to check it out.  Regardless of how long the wait is.....IT'S WORTH IT!  Just get in line, and have one of your friends bring out a couple drinks from the bar next door.

Coop's Taste Plate
  

Ok...now Coop's is a legit local cajun restaurant.  No frills....just lots of delectable thrills.  Ordering here is easy.....just get the "Coop's Taste Plate."  It comes with a cup of gumbo, shrimp creole, red beans and rice, cajun-fried chicken, and rabbit & sausage jambalaya.  Words just don't express enough how much I loved this meal.  And here's the bonus prize:  they sell a cookbook with their best recipes.  I'm waiting to try my hand at the jambalaya.  One thing to note about this place is that they have a few video poker machines inside; so you have to be at least 21 y/o to enter.






Without doubt, you will wake up hungover at least one morning in New Orelans. (And if you don't, you're not doing New Orleans correctly.)   And what better way to shake off that hangover than with a proper bloody mary from Magnolia Grill.Super tasty bloody mary's, and the food was on-point as well.  My friends ordered a mix of breakfast and lunch items....all of it looked and smelled delish.  But you know me.....I went for the cajun lunch buffet.  The buffet offered a host of items including gumbo, jambalaya, green beans, red beans and rice, fried catfish, fried chicken, mac n cheese, and more.  The fried catfish and chicken were noteworthy, and required me going back to the buffet line 2 or 3 times to reload.  Pretty much the best fried chicken I've ever eaten.  Oh....and did I mention the bloody mary's  ;o) 

Finally, a stop should be made by Cafe du Monde.  Cafe du Monde originally opened in 1862.  They sell coffee and beignets 24 hours/day.  Not a bad way to shake out those cobwebs from drinking on Bourbon St. all night.     

Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Bar

No review of New Orleans would be complete without at least a few words about alcohol.  New Orleans doesn't have an open container law, so you can walk down the street openly enjoying whatever cocktail you have in-hand.  Just make sure to ditch the glass for a plastic cup on your way out the door.  Bourbon Street is the bacchanalian experience that you'd expect it to be.  And apparently, there is no "last call" either. Bars line both sides of the street; most with a second floor balcony to throw beads from.  I'm still shocked at the lows to which people will stoop simply to get their hands on a 50-cent necklace of plastic beads.....but I digress.  Most of the bars offer an all-night happy hour....either 2 for 1....or 3 for 1.  This "special" is a little misleading, as you don't actually get 2 or 3 drinks for the price of one.  What you do get, is a "super-sized" plastic cup filled with well-over 3 shots of your favorite libation.  Drink one at the bar....and then get one "for the road."  No visit to New Orleans would be complete without sipping down at least one hurricane.  They're sold from dispensers at almost every bar.  But skip the pre-mixed sugarfest, and go to the place the started it all.  http://www.patobriens.com/patobriens/neworleans/   This bar is huge, with several side rooms, and a nice large outdoor patio in the back.  Also, make sure to stop by Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop Bar.  True to its name, Lafitte's is clearly an old blacksmith shop built between 1722-1732.  It is rumored to be the oldest structure being used as a bar in the entire United States.  It's dark and dank, and just oozes history.  http://www.lafittesblacksmithshop.com/AboutUs.html

BAC, we here at The Food Bitch can't thank you enough for your awesome review and photos, and we are all enviously waiting for you to take your next culinary walkabout so we can get all the details.  

Happy Snacking, 

The Food Bitch

Gannon's - Just Shy of the Hype

Snackers,

The first I learned of Gannon's was through several of those glitzy hotel, dining, shopping and spa magazines that are given away at almost every establishment a tourist might pass through on a trip to Maui.  Ads for this place were everywhere.  They talked of Chef Bev Gannon, the award winning, Texas born, female chef who is seemingly the prize of Maui.  No brainer, I thought.  Had to check it out.  We barely squeaked in a reservation for 8:30 p.m. the following night.  They made it clear they were very committed.  Indeed, the painting that greets you at the entry is simultaneously pretentious and humbling.

Crab, Lobster, Tomato Tower

The aforementioned tourist rags all had pictures of the same appetizer: the Crab, Lobster, Tomato Tower with cucumber and avocado rolls.  It practically popped off the pages, shiny, symmetrical and perfect.  So yeah, we had to order that.  And it came.  And it was good.  But that's it - just good.  Not perfect by any means.  The heirlooms were actually some of the most disappointing tomatoes I had while staying in Maui.  The yellow slice in particular tasted mealy and out of season.  Bummer.  The crab salad part was a little bland, as was the lobster, as were the sweet, sticky rice-heavy avocado rolls.  I just thought the whole thing was missing its bite.

Tuna Tartar

We found the bite soon thereafter, however, in a most redeeming Tuna Tartar.  Tuna Tartar, you say?  Not really known for it's "bite".  Well this one is.  Served with shiso, yuzu, lemon sirracha, cucumber and crisp onion strings, this little appetizer had more flavor in every petite bite than the imposing tomato salad had in its entirety.  I think I sat and fished out each and every last micro cube of cucumber from the bottom of the martini glass.  This dish quite simply had a "brightness" to it that made it impossible not to smile while enjoying.

Braised Short Ribs with Mushroom Sauté & Truffle Mac & Cheese

For dinner, H and I both had the Braised Short Ribs with Mushroom Sauté and Truffle Macaroni and Cheese.  Our server, who was quite funny by the way, and according to H, "transformed from Norm Peterson to Nathan Lane from the Birdcage" over the course of the meal, advised us that the Short Ribs were the closest thing Chef Gannon had to a "signature dish", as it is the only dish that is served at all three of her Hawaii restaurants.  The mac and cheese was a no brainer for me (and I would have actually ordered it as a supplemental side had I ordered another entrée anyway); and yes, it tasted every bit as good as it sounds.  The short ribs were very tender and the sauce was rich, velvety and had just the right touch of sweet to balance the earthiness of the mushrooms.  And yes, I picked around probably 80% of the actual mushrooms, but I really did have a few good bites with the meat just so I could say I tried it.  I still take umbrage with the texture of mushrooms, but their flavor, particularly as utilized in a dish like this, is rich and much appreciated.

Because no Maui dinner seems to be complete without dessert, we ordered yet another chocolate dessert that was shaped like an inanimate object.  This time it was a little chocolate cup filled with an espresso chocolate mouse and served with cocoa and espresso bean shaped/flavored chocolates.  I didn't like this one as much as the chocolate purse at Merriman's, but I think H did, as he remarked as to how much he was really appreciating all of the really good quality dark chocolate on the plate.

So let's recap:  Big hype about this restaurant - very heavily marketed.  Do I feel it really lived up to all of it, when compared to other five star dinners I had during my vacation week on Maui?  No.  If you could only do one five star dinner on Maui would I recommend it be at Gannon's?  No.  But, was it a great dining experience?  Yes, it absolutely was.  It just didn't make it onto my "must go back" list for our next trip to Maui.



Happy Snacking,

The Food Bitch

Merriman's - Local Ingredients with a Sunset View

Snackers,

In the interest of getting these promised Maui reviews off my plate (ahem), I'm going to briefly (if that is possible) tell you about dinner at Merriman's in Kapalua.  Merriman's was another recommendation from Frank at our hotel, who made our reservation a few days in advance.  Conveniently, the day of our reservation, H and I were looking for something to do, so we set off on a little road adventure, heading north and west over to Lahaina.  Our first stop was at the Maui Ocean Center, Maui's aquarium and popular tourist attraction. We got some great pictures, and I mused that there was nothing quite like seeing a bunch of fish right before going to eat what would probably be a fish dinner.  But moving on. . .

Ahi Sashimi "Katsu" Rice Bowl @ Lahaina Prime Rib & Fish Co.  Meh.

We stopped in at Lahaina and did some shopping; the "strip" was loaded with stores, restaurants and blue hairs for whom Lahaina was the daily port of call on their Princess cruise.  We popped into the Lahaina Prime Rib & Fish Company for a light lunch.  Here is a picture of what I ate, but to be honest, the only reason it was memorable was because I took the time to Foodspot this photograph.

The rest of the day was spent crashing hotel pools and beaches in Kaanapali, so needless to say, by the time we got to Merriman's for our 5:30 p.m. sunset reservation (a very popular reservation time at just about any West facing Maui restaurant), we were a bit sandy and underdressed.  I worry about these little things more so than H does, but I'm a girl.  What do you want from me?  The underdressed bit was okay when we first got there because there because the sun was still out, but by the time we left at about 7:30 p.m., the rest of the patrons were significantly more put together than we were.  Oh well.

Here are the memorable highlights from dining at Merriman's:

The view was beautiful.  We had a great table for two right at the edge of the dining room overlooking the ocean - another advantage to making an earlier reservation - prime seating.  

Molokai Purple Sweet Potato Soup

The soup of the day was a farmer's market inspired sweet potato soup.  Naturally I had to order it, but imagine my surprise when, instead of the anticipated orange color of the traditional sweet potato, I got a beautiful, delightful and most visually interesting purple soup instead!  I loved it - it had a subtle hint of. . . was it mint?  Something in the actual earthiness of the locally grown Molokai purple sweet potatoes (and that color!) made this a particularly memorable soup.  Oh, and the bowl was nice and deep.  I like that.

Pupu Taster

H and I split Merriman's Pupu Taster ($32), which is a sampling of four of their most popular appetizers (pupu) including Keahole Lobster, Avocado and Tomato Salad; Eden Farms Kurobuta Kalua Pig and Sweet Onion Quesadilla; Warm Crusted Surfing Goad Cheese, Kula Strawberries and Maui Onions; and, Fresh Island Ahi Sashimi.  Paired with the avocado, the lobster salad had a nice creaminess to it.  The goat cheese and strawberries were predictably "off the hook" fantastic, but y'all already know how I feel about goat cheese.  The ahi sashimi was very fresh, but otherwise unremarkably presented other than some little mystery pickley green things that no staff member could identify (but I ate them all anyway).  The quesadilla was heavenly - I'm a fan of all things Kalua pork and Maui onions.  The real treat for me with the quesadilla, however, was the homemade kimchi that was hiding underneath.  It had just the right amount of spice, and a garden-fresh crunch that could only be indicative of Merriman's commitment to using seasonal, fresh products bought daily from local island farmers.  I could have munched on that stuff all day.

Crisp Taro Fritters & Creamed Local Sweet Corn

In lieu of entrées, because, you know, we wanted to keep it light (rolls eyes), we also split some Parmesan Truffle Fries (kinda boring), and this pretty duo of the Creamed Local Sweet Corn (I die.  Seriously.  It's so, so good.  Like candy.) and the Crisp Taro Fritters, which were pretty unremarkable except for their heaviness.  It was all about the corn.








Two other things of note:

Chocolate "Purse"

One was dessert - a Chocolate "Purse" made out of phyllo dough and filled with some sort of molten chocolate lava deliciousness.  The texture of this dessert was perfect - light and crispy outside, warm, chocolately and sinful inside.  It also wasn't too big, which was good because it was still rich enough to share.  Needless to say, this plate finished just shy of being licked clean.

And finally, I had one of the yummiest cocktails ever here: a pineapple martini style drink made with fresh pineapples, of course, and topped with a homemade coconut foam.  It was pretty, sweet, and I sensed that had I not eaten all of the aforemetioned food, I probably would have ordered six of them without batting an eye and happily paid for it the next day.  Yeah, that good.  

Merriman's has live ambient music at night, is in a great location for those staying in the Kaanapali/Lahaina areas of Maui, and is really only about an hour's drive from the Wailea area.  I'd definitely go check it out, even if it's just for sunset cocktails.


Happy Snacking,

The Food Bitch

Eating in the Ukraine - Want a Side of Sour Cream With That?

Dearest Snackers:

As I continue to work on my Maui reviews, my darling, brilliant and wickedly creative friend Starr graciously agreed to pen a guest review for me about her adventures in foreign cuisine since transplanting herself recently from Texas to the Ukraine.  That's right - a review from a Texan in the Ukraine.  But you know what?  She uses the words "garlicky" "bacony" and "foodie-ness", so she's OK with us here at A Food Bitch.  So with no further ado, I give you Starr's preliminary accounting of Eating in the Ukraine.  

Borsch in Kiev

As we head into my first (my husband Alex's fourth) winter in Ukraine, it's increasingly obvious why Ukrainian cuisine tends toward hearty comfort food. Soup in particular is a Big Thing, very popular. When employees from Alex's Ukraine office come to the U.S. for training, they're always looking for good soups (I usually make tortilla soup when we have Ukrainian guests).

Borsch w/Sour Cream, Salo (the lard-ish slices of pork @ the top left),  & Pampushki

A hearty bowl of borsch will warm you right up after a windy, wet, cold day. I tried a few online U.S. recipes for borsch a few years ago and it was nothing like the real thing. Borsch is a beet soup, but there's actually so much more in it! It's usually a thin beef or pork stock (a bit purple from the beets or sometimes reddish or light), meat (usually pork, sometimes beef) and lots of shredded veggies like cabbage, onions, carrots, potatoes, of course beets, and others (it varies, so I order borsch at nearly every restaurant).

I helped our friend Masha make some for New Year's Eve in a huge pot--it takes a while to prep all those veggies, but the end result is so worth it!  

It's traditionally served with a sprinkling of dill--which appears to be a favorite Ukrainian spice, because it is served on, in, or with nearly everything--as well as sour cream (smetana), pampushki, and salo. Pampushki are these round, supremely wonderful super-garlicy buns that are wondrous to dip into the soup.

Salo 

Chocolate-Covered Salo

Salo is, well, lard. (Okay technically it's salt-cured fatback.) Sometimes it has a bit of meat on it and looks almost bacony, but usually it's just the fatty white part of the pig, served cold or room temperature. It can be spread almost like butter on bread (if it's garlic-y enough I quite like it this way), or you can break it up to eat with the borsch.

It's a hugely popular delicacy in Ukraine; there's even a place in Kiev that serves it   covered in chocolate.  (Yes, we tried it, and yes, I'd classify it as disgusting, particularly because it was frozen before it was chocolate-coated.)

 . . . No, I don't recommend it. It's frozen to keep the shape. ick.

Vereniki with Dill & Sautéed Onions

Vereniki, Hotel Aurora

Another Ukrainian standby are vereniki and permini, dumplings stuffed with various things like ground beef, cabbage, or potato (also served with the ever-present sour cream). I've had these at a couple places and thus far although I like the beef, when I make them I'll add more seasoning as it those I've had just taste like plain beef. Not bad with sautéed onion, dill, and sour cream on top, but not amazing (then again, my palate is definitely used to spicier fare in Texas). The cabbage-filled vereniki are my favorite, no surprise since I also love the cabbage in borsch, as a cooked side-dish, and even served raw with carrots as a salad.

Cerniki

What's really marvelous for breakfast are cerniki, a kind of small, thick pancake--for lack of a better descriptor--made with cottage cheese in the batter. They're more dense than a typical pancake, and a little crumbly when you eat them, and they are heavenly. You eat them with a bit of--what else?--sour cream on top, although we've also had them with powdered sugar, raspberry glaze, and I've put yogurt on mine. They make me happy in a way that only appropriately carb-loaded foods can.

Now, when it comes to dessert I must admit that thus far, I'm falling down on my foodie-ness. Ukrainians are known for their sweettooths, which becomes evident with every coffee shop you pass or metro you walk into--there are pastries and cookies and delightful sugary treats everywhere! I've resisted the temptation for the most part, but there are two treats in which I've indulged. Remember the scene in Chocolat where Juliet Binoche serves Judy Dench that mug of thick liquid chocolate that made you disappointed in every hot chocolate you've ever had? Yeah, that's everywhere here! Alex and I call it "drinking chocolate;" here they call this thick stuff "hot chocolate" and the thinner stuff we're used to in the U.S. is called "cocoa." It's like drinking a hug, it's fantastic. By now I probably have a chocolate-coated esophagus!

Hot Drinking Chocolate

Chocolate Filled Waffles in Kiev

The other real treat are waffles--waffles from shops or street vendors, made on the spot with your choice of filling. We had a few of these, one of which was crunchy and lemon-flavored (and chocolate-coated), and some of the Belgian variety with sticks of chocolate buried inside, then they re-toasted the waffle to melt the insides… worth every calorie, I promise.

Belgian Chocolate Filled Waffle

Selection of Georgian Soups

Georgian cuisine is popular here, and it's easy to see why--it is amazingly yummy. We've had Georgian fare in both Ukraine and Russia, and I'm pretty fond of it--particularly because it highlights khachapuri, which is basically bread wrapped around cheese. And good as that sounds, believe me: it tastes even better.  There are all kinds of variations on this involving other things wrapped in the bread with the cheese, including a cracked egg--so far I prefer the basic khachapuri.

Khachapuri 

Mmmmm, cheesy bread.  But really, that's fodder for another post…

And with that, ladies and gentlemen, my appetite for travel and exploring new cuisine has again been whetted.  I'm not sure if I'm going to make it to the Ukraine any time soon, so maybe I'll just have to settle for trying my hand at making some Borsch this weekend.  I'll let you know how it turns out.  I just need to go pick up some sour cream.

Happy Snacking,

Продовольча Сука (The Food Bitch) 



P.S.  Follow Starr's travel adventures on Twitter here!

Nick's Fishmarket - So Nice, We Dined Twice!

Aloha, Snackers!  

My Christmas to New Years Maui vacation already seems like a million meals away.  Fortunately, I have sweet memories of lots of food to hang on to (and a strangely large amount of photos of the same); and so I bring you the first of several reviews to come over the next couple of few weeks. 

Fairmont's 20 Foot Christmas Tree

Nick's Fishmarket is nestled inside the Fairmont Kealani Hotel & Resort, which was less than a five minute's drive from where we were staying in Wailea.  All quality hotels in Maui seem to be beautiful - actually everywhere is.  The lush greenery and vivid, exotic plant life everywhere on the island serves as a constant reminder that you're no longer in a concrete jungle.  But the Fairmont seems to be a particularly nice hotel, with particularly lovely grounds (and Christmas decorations), and so it should come as no surprise that the food served up in Nick's was particularly enjoyable as well.  

Nick's, along with almost every other five star restaurant we visited on this trip, was recommended by our hotel concierge.  Just for grins, we'll call him "Frank".  As it turned out, Frank really hit the mark with Nick's.  We enjoyed our first visit so much, we booked our last dinner of the trip a week in advance so we could come back again.  Suffice to say, we got to try a lot of stuff in two visits.  

Pretty Interior Lighting

The menu is mostly fresh fish entrees, and a variety of appetizers, all of which were comprised of fresh, local catches.  There were maybe two steak options on the menu and one chicken, but it was pretty clear that if you came to Nick's, you didn't come for the chicken.  Indeed, everything we tried tasted as though it swam right up onto our plates.  

Over the course of two visits, we tried a total of four appetizers: the Kaluah Pig Pot Stickers with Caramelized Maui Pineapple Curry; the Poi Pounder, which is Ahi Carpaccio, Blue Crab Salad, Wasabi Aioli and Maui Avocado; The Olawalu Vine Ripened Tomato Salad with Gorgonzola Walnut Pate, EVOO, and a Kula Strawberry White Vinaigrette dressing; and a soup of the day, which was a tomato based seafood bisque (local, of course) poured table side over a lobster and crab salad.  

Soup du Jour

The potstickers were caramelized to a golden brown in the light and tangy "curry" sauce, which really just tasted like Maui pineapple burnt sugar heaven.  I typically avoid potstickers and dumplings because I find them to be doughy and slimy, but these were amazing.  Crunchy on the outside and covered in something sticky and yummy is really the key.  

The soup du jour was one of the sexiest flavors I can ever remember tasting.  The fresh ingredients absolutely sing right out of the bowl (which, I will say, was a tad shallow for my taste. . . I AM the Food Bitch, remember?).  

And that was just the apps on visit one.  

Poi Pounder

The second go-round we had the tomato salad and the ahi carpaccio.  The ahi, or "Poi Pounder" consisted of thinly sliced ahi tuna surrounding a solid ball of crab salad (yes, we saw this "crab salad" a lot - think tuna salad without the mayo and with white, lump crab meat.  Sometimes you even get a bit of shell, so you know it's for real!!).  The crab salad tuna ball was set atop some deep fried potato chips, with wasabi mayo decoratively on the side.  Eaten alone, the tuna and crab salad bit was a little bland, but once you mix in the smoky flavor of the sweet potato chips, the creamy avocado, and the kick of the wasabi, it created an altogether a perfect bite.  

Tomato Salad

The tomato salad was also gorgeous.  To have a truly in-season tomato for Christmas - what a gift!  Now I have to say, I was initially taken aback at the presence of strawberries on the same plate with my tomatoes, because those don't go together, right?  Wrong.  They go brilliantly together.  Then again, I'm guessing that if you put gorgonzola cheese and walnuts together with any two unrelated items, it's going to create a special kind of magic.

On to the entrees. . . 

Island Snapper

On both visits, H ordered Nick's "signature dish", the Island Snapper.  Served with sautéed Lemon Butter and Capers, Artichoke Hearts, Broccolini, Molokai Sweet Potato Hash Browns and a Tomato Purée, it was so good the first time (and probably the winning entrée of all we tried), I didn't even try to persuade H to sample something different.  He did get to try a new fish, as the snapper was 86'd the second night and a machong (an exotic Hawaiian fish with large, snow-white flakes and a medium-firm texture) was subbed in.  The lemon and capers lent a brightness to the more wintery veggies and potatoes, and the tomato purée tied it all together with a saucy little bow.  If making the dish myself, I might have left off the artichoke hearts, which to me tasted canned, but hey - I'd rather pick around something gratuitous instead of feeling like a meal is missing something. 

Ahi au Poivre

As for the Food Bitch, I had the Ahi au Poivre on the first night (yes, you read the menu right - that is Hawaiian Yellowfin Tuna wrapped in Applewood Smoked Bacon (the what?!?), served with a Gorgonzola Potato Tart, Brandy Peppercorn Sauce, and Caramelized Maui Onions.  Now y'all know I'm almost always down for anything with bacon, and we've already discussed the magical powers of gorgonzola cheese, so this was an obvious one for me to try.  And it was good, to be sure, but it was much denser than H's snapper, and the sauce a bit heavier.  I wouldn't go so far as to say I had "entrée envy (because H is good at sharing), but in comparison, the Island Snapper easily won this round.  

Potato "Scaled" Mahi Mahi

On our second trip, I succumbed to the Mahi Mahi, served Potato "Scaled" with a Potato Purée, Cabernet Beurre Rouge, White Truffle Oil and Grilled Asparagus.  I decided some time ago I really didn't care for Mahi Mahi, and generally avoid ordering it, opting for a whiter fish.  But it is Maui, home of the Mahi Mahi "fish of the day", and as the Food Bitch always says, "Try everything twice."  And it was actually really, really good.  The sauce had just the right amount of sweetness to complement the simplicity of the ingredients, so needless to say, I cleaned my plate, and H didn't even have to help.  

Something about our last dinner in Maui made us want to drink copious amounts of wine, and after several glasses in, I made the mistake of leaving H to his own devices to order dessert, which I clearly said I did not have any room for.  Huge mistake or greatest thing ever?  I say the latter.  

Strawberries

Not only did H order dessert, he ordered TWO desserts:  the Bananas Foster, and a locally grown strawberry dessert (that was already portioned for two), which was flambéed table side in grand marnier.  The waiter artfully drew palm trees and a little warrior dude on our respective plates in brown sugar, cream and dark Hershey's syrup, and our eyes both lit up while we watched the strawberries cook themselves in a wash of blue flames.  The berries themselves were a bit tart, but that turned out to be a good thing given the sweetness of the aforementioned artistically displayed condiments and the caramelized grand marnier. What a feast, and indeed, what a great way to end our trip.  

Seating at Nick's is offered inside or out (we did both); inside is beautifully lit, cozy but airy at the same time, and outside has a view of the Farimont's beautiful pool.  All of this amazing food with wine by the glass priced at around $10 - $15, and with a view of a spectacular in-wall fish tank makes Nick's a must-try for anyone staying in the Wailea/Kihea area of Maui who wants to get a great sampling of the island's freshest fish.  Just be prepared to be disappointed by pretty much any other seafood you order elsewhere for at least the next six months.  It'll just make you want to go back to Maui.  

Happy Snacking, 

The Food Bitch

A Word About Dining "Island Style" - Part II

Happy New Year, Snackers!  

Capsized

I sincerely hope this all finds you well, happy, and very well fed.  I was fortunate enough to spend yet another week on Maui this holiday season with H, and along with the usual airport shenanigans, screaming toddlers on airplanes, a few budget cut-backs at our hotel and a couple of other "first world problems", the trip went off without a hitch.  

And we ate.  

A lot.  

No seriously - like a morbid amount of food.  

Anyone who has been to Hawaii knows that there is no shortage of good food on the islands, from five-star to foodtruck, and particularly on Maui where tourism is rampant, fresh, local produce is growing, and the farm to table movement is in full lucrative force.    

Wailea, Maui

I'm back to work and, as usual, incredibly busy, but I wanted to take a moment to give you a little glimpse into some of the amazing restaurants at which I got to eat on my trip; and rest assured, I'm working on reviews.  

• Nick's Fishmarket - Nick's absolutely encompassed everything about island fine dining.  Hell, it was so good, we went twice.   

• Merriman's - In Kapalua, local, and with a view is the way to eat.  Can't wait to tell you about the homemade kimchi and the purple soup! 

• Gannon's - This one is getting lots of local hype. . . but was it as good as when I was reading about it in that tourist magazine at the spa?

• Paia Fish Market - A completely different "fishmarket" from Nick's, I had my fish sandwich "Obama Style".  

• Duo at the Four Seasons - Oh boy, do I have a great one coming for you.  I'm calling this one "Duo - A New Year's Eve Buffet Story".  

Maui Ocean Center

In the coming reviews, unless otherwise specified, expect that the The Food Bitch is talking about a $$$ or $$$$ rated meal.  That's just something you should plan for if you go to Maui.  A two-top at a nice place will run you $200 without batting an eye.  The food is amazing, but you're paying a premium for everything.  Don't even get me started on Starbucks and their $3 tall drip.  Simply everything is inflated.  

But look: Eating is my entertainment, and there is no way, costs aside, I could come back from a trip like this without having found a renewed passion for really good food.  A week in the islands and all you want is Maui pineapple, fish, and an in-season tomato in January.  

So here are a couple of pretty pictures for you and the promise of reviews to come.  And now I've posted this, so now I HAVE to write these reviews.  No excuses, lots more good eating and reviews to come in 2012, and I hope everyone has a magical, snackable year.  

Aloha, 

The Food Bitch